The Denial Twist

Orgasm denial is something Nathan and I have experimented with in varying ways throughout our relationship. Part of what turns him on as a cuckold (and no, not all cuckolds do this) is not just watching me fuck other guys but being actively denied sex with myself. It’s almost a holistic cuckolding experience for him to have me derive so much satisfaction from other men that I no longer need him for anything sexual. If I cut Nathan off completely, he would be in total bliss. At first it was really quite difficult for me to adjust to, because I have such a high sex drive and finding the balance between denying Nathan and keeping me satisfied was a bit of a sore point early on in our relationship. Since I started cuckolding Nathan from the beginning, it wasn’t so much that I was upset with the idea of him not wanting to have sex with me, more that I want sex nearly every day and finding other available men was a full time job that required too much time (until I discovered adult online dating websites, but that’s a post for another time).

At first, denying Nathan was as simple as not having sex with him. The longer I denied him, the more he wanted me and that kind of infatuation was intoxicating. He became more doting, more sweet on me and forever wanted to kiss me. Not to say that when we did/do eventually have sex that he becomes less interested in me, but it’s different when I deny him. His passion for me increases and I almost feel like I’m being worshipped. I’m his queen and he is my little cuck who would do anything for me.

After our first year together, Nathan mentioned wanting to try chastity by being locked in a cock cage. I think I mentioned in previous posts that I work in the science industry, so of course all I could think of was the potential physiological repercussions. It was one thing to not have sex for three months, but something completely different to physically restrain yourself from having an erection for three months. The body can be so easily conditioned, I didn’t want him to cause any permanent damage – especially if chastity was just a phase that he’d grow out of (pun intended). But he was sure a cock cage was something he wanted, he had seen it in some cuckold porn and read in a few forums about how it took orgasm denial to another level. I admit I did have a perverse curiosity as to how it all worked, so we decided to buy one together – complete with lock, key and a little anklet for myself to keep said key on.

When we returned home after our shopping expedition, I was surprised to find how excited I was to fit the cage on Nathan and see how it all worked. We ended up having to wait a few hours though because Nathan was just as excited to wear it and couldn’t contain his erection (pun not intended, but I’ll claim it!) So after an afternoon of thinking un-sexy thoughts, Nathan finally went soft and we fit the cage on him. For someone who’s never seen anything like this before, I found it really intriguing. I licked his penis through the bars, keen to see what would happen when he’d get erect. Sure enough he swelled up and his penis tried desperately to push itself free through the cage bars, but instead it just dribbled out a bit of cum and started to deflate again. Nathan was happy with the result and decided to keep it on for the rest of the night. And the next day… And the rest of the week.  I teased him to no end that week just for the sole purpose of seeing his little penis swell, dribble and go soft again in the cage.

I put him in chastity every now and then. Mostly on days when I would be hooking up with someone else, so that only I would get to have an orgasm that day and not him. Other times when we’d go out in public or meet up with friends. I’d tease him about how he would explain what he was wearing if he had to go to use a bathroom that only had urinals. And sometimes just on a whim I’d decide I wanted him to be kept locked up. The longest time I kept him in chastity was 5 weeks. However, after nearly a year, it became less enjoyable for him to wear. He did notice it was harder for him to maintain an erection when he wasn’t in chastity but also the novelty wore off and it wasn’t as exciting or taboo to wear anymore. Now we only use it when I invite over a particularly dom bull, who likes the idea of little cuck sitting in a corner of the bedroom in chastity.

So I’ve gone back to just denying Nathan, sometimes by refusing to have sex with him and sometimes by having sex until I cum and then telling him he’s not allowed to finish. It’s much easier to integrate this into part of our play, by maintaining that he’s only satisfying me in the interim between bulls or ‘keeping me in practice’. It’s simple but it works for us. The chastity cage was/is interesting for us to play with but I definitely think that the intrigue was in it being new and different more than anything. I can admit though, I’m secretly relieved he decided not to continue with wearing the chastity cage, because ultimately when he was denied then I was denied. But at least now we know what level is comfortable for us.

Tell me about your experiences being denied or being the person doing the denying! Do you simply abstain from sex or use a chastity cage? Did you talk about chastity or just whip out the cage one night? And for the cuckold couples out there, do you even include denying your partner as part of your play?

Also I highly recommend checking out the blog She Rules the Rooster for a much more comprehensive look at male orgasm denial and the blog Thrill of the Chaste to read about his experience with long term chastity.

Patty xx



  1. Hi there! I was going to sit here and write up a comment trying to summarize my experiences being locked in chastity, but it looks like you’ve already read all about it on my blog! Thanks for the plug! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the plug!

    I have two chastity cages but am not locked that often. It’s really more my thing than her thing. She prefers that I have to be disciplined and she enjoys my erections, both during play and, if I am denied, feeling my erection against her as she falls asleep. She tends to enjoy me being locked when we are apart – say, she went on a girls only trip to Vegas. It hits my submissive buttons to know that she can have sex but I literally cannot.

    I don’t actually like wearing the device during non-sexual times (such as at work). Kind of a pain. The longest I’ve been locked is 8 days. I am sort of a clean freak, and that can be an issue. But I do enjoy the throbbing that happens when I try to get hard during playtime, or during morning erections. I am a bit of a masochist.

    I don’t particularly like simply being denied sex. I DO enjoy it when we play and she climaxes and I do not. Lately we have discovered that I am really turned on by helping her get dressed afterwards. For example, I went down on her and she climaxed. She is a woman that is “always cold” so does not like to sleep naked. So, after she had settled back down from her orgasm, I helped her put her panties and her PJ bottoms on, fully erect and wanting her. It is a REALLY hot experience, really pushes my submissive button that I am helping her clean up even though I didn’t make any mess. It sometimes takes me a while to figure out how her panties go, and the way she moves her feet/legs/hips as I dress her is super erotic.

    My preference though is to be teased/edged. It’s very hot when I penetrate her, she climaxes from the vibrator, and then she tells it’s not time for me to come. I can smell her scent on me when I wake up in the morning – she left her mark on me, not the other way around!

    I really enjoy teasing handjobs a lot. She will get me very close to orgasm multiple times, and if she decides to deny me, she will usually say, OK, time for bed. At that point, we will spoon, and I will press against her as she falls asleep.

    Verbal teasing is key, though. She’ll tell me how great her orgasm was, how much pleasure she felt, hope my orgasm satisfied you, sex is for the wife’s pleasure, things like that.

    All in all, we both know that I am a better husband when I am denied. I really drop off and disengage after I come. Sucks for me, but it really has helped our relationship. Now if only she would cuck me…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Edging is great fun and something I enjoy doing with Nathan as well. Similarly to your wife, I’d let him have sex with me until I cum and then when I could feel he was close, I’d tell him to stop because I’m bored or changed my mind. A lot of the time it results in a ruined orgasm, which is always fun to humiliate him with by making him clean up his own mess.

      With your verbal humiliation do you include fantasy talk about her cucking you with another guy? I spoke to a guy previously who had a wife not comfortable with cucking him, but she would talk about how she was fucking the neighbour while he was at work. Even if it wasnt true he loved the idea that it was a very realistic possibility she was having an affair while he wasn’t home.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We have not done a ton of humiliation. One time, she bought me a pair of feminine panties and made me wear them to work (I also happened to be locked in a chastity device also). She specifically did that to humiliate me, and THAT turned me on. I don’t really have a thing for cross dressing, but her “making” me do things… big turn on. I would not mind exploring this a bit more.

        With regard to cucking, she has at times talked about having another man around, but I guess it’s not really her thing. I guess the main thing is that she is not shy at all about pointing out guys she thinks are hot. Even in front of our kids or friends. That does turn me on a lot. Having her openly lust after another man does sort of make me feel embarrassed, but it’s a big turnon.

        Probably the closest thing we’ve done to cucking is I penetrated her with a dildo while also holding the vibrator on her clit. She had a great orgasm. It was SO hot watching her pussy lips move to accept the dildo. She denied me that night, so I guess you could say that she had sex and I did not. Would love to try that again!

        Liked by 2 people

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