I think most guys in the cuckolding lifestyle will agree they didn’t just wake up one day and decide that they would be happier if their partner cheated on them. It’s something they lusted for over a period of time, whether or not they recognised it at first. Some guys are into swinging, so cuckolding is a natural progression, some guys with a smaller than average penis size fantasise about seeing what a bigger, thicker cock would do their partner and the others have it thrown in their face by witnessing their partner cheat on them, and through the rage realise their cock has become rock hard.
Nathan falls into the latter category. He was 19 and in a pretty tumultuous on-again-off-again relationship with his first girlfriend. They’d break up, he’d hook up with someone, she’d find out get angry and jealous and want to get back together. They’d break up again, she’d hook up with someone, he’d get angry and jealous and want to get back together. The final time they broke up, he found himself at a house party that she happened to be at. And there she was, sitting in the lap of another guy, making out with him (among other things). Nathan was so incredibly furious, and yet he couldn’t look away. He was completely captivated by seeing her openly hooking up with this other guy. Half their friends didn’t know they had broken up, and something about the public humiliation of being the beta male, just felt so right.
In his next relationship he still hadn’t really worked out what it was that turned him on so much about seeing his ex with another man, so he kept it under wraps and started reading about it online. Discovering cuckold porn and reading forums about other guys, who just like him were confused about why the idea of their partner cheating on them turned them on so much. The more cuckold porn he watched and the more he read about how it was so much more than just a fetish, the more he knew it was a lifestyle he wanted. His relationship ended without him having the chance to experiment, but he ended up finding a new girlfriend (let’s call her Laura) that he knew was also a bit more sexually liberal and could possibly be open to the idea of cucking him.
Nathan floated the idea past Laura after about a year or so into their relationship, and as expected she freaked out asking the same questions that most partners have: “Why do you want me to sleep with someone else? Don’t you love me anymore? What do you get out of it? How could you think I would even be capable of cheating on you?” But as mortified as she was, Laura was also curious, and tempted to see how far she could go exactly. After a while, she confessed to Nathan that she wouldn’t mind hooking up with her ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but the ex-boyfriend wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of being with Laura while she had a boyfriend, so after the first and only time they fucked, he stopped texting back. Nathan was pretty pleased he got to hear all the juicy details and this time he didn’t feel the rage and jealousy, and couldn’t keep his hands off Laura. The next time she decided to fuck someone, she chose a guy in her dance class. He was even willing to let Nathan watch one time, and he was in heaven. After that he begged Laura to cut him off completely, no sex whatsoever except with her dance class friend. Unfortunately what Nathan didn’t plan on, was Laura growing more and more attached to her friend and eventually leaving Nathan, so she could be with him.
Nathan reflects back on it as standard amateur cuck mistake. He was just so excited about how well things were seemingly going for him, he didn’t realise how far apart he was drifting from Laura. They never set any ground rules, so when she started cancelling on him to hang out with her friend or ignoring his calls he thought it was part of the experience. She’d already cut him off for sex, so this was just the next level, right?
Needless to say when Nathan met myself, he had a more clear idea in his head of what he wanted as well as what sort of boundaries/limitations there should be. But that being said just because we follow our rules, doesn’t mean our experiences are all Stepford perfect. I’ve been cucking Nathan for over 4 years now, which is the longest he’s ever been cuckolded. And after a while, for the first time he started to experience so-called ‘cuckold angst’. There are lots of articles and other blogs out there that discuss this in more detail, but for Nathan it’s almost as if the cheating aspect had become real and it wasn’t fun anymore. He can feel that same rage and jealousy growing in him that he felt when he was 19, and it makes him more angry and upset because he knows he should be enjoying himself. He particularly feels this when I go to the bull’s place alone or when I’m with a bull who I just happen to get along really well with so it’s almost like we’re a real couple lying in bed chatting, laughing and fucking while Nathan sits awkwardly in the corner. He knows deep down that I love him and that he loves being cuckolded, still sometimes he just can’t shake that little paranoid voice in his head that wonders if I’ll also end up leaving him with one of my bulls.
Like any good cuckold couple we have discussed it, so I am more mindful of being overly friendly with my bulls. Not just for Nathan’s sake but for theirs and mine as well – I mentioned in a previous post about how oblivious I was to a bull wanting to be more than just my favourite cock because we got along so well. Anyway, I digressed a fair bit but I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that Nathan may have identified first feeling cuckolded at 19 but as our relationship evolves and we experiment, his identity as a cuckold shifts and changes as well. Not all cuckolds engage in the same kind of activities as us and vice versa, which is what makes it a lifestyle more than a set fetish. Four years seems like it’s already been a long time to us but realistically we have the rest of our life together and I have no doubt that eventually we’ll get to that cuckolding sweet spot of no angst, no jealousy, no testing limits just to see where they are, nothing but amazing fucking orgasms… (for me, not him!)