To BBC Or Not BBC? That Is The Question!

You all know I love cuckolding Nathan. You all know I love big, thick cocks. What you don’t know is that I’m probably the only so-called cuckoldress in the world, to have never had or even tried a BBC. Like all things in life, I have a perfectly neurotic explanation for it all. I don’t post pictures of myself here so I guess when I mention that I’m Australian you’re imagining the stereotypical blonde haired, blue eyed Bondi beach babe. But my heritage is Sri Lankan ie. I’m a brown eyed girl with brown skin… And I’m kinda short. Being Sri Lankan means my extended family on both my parents’ sides, hold enough people to populate a small country. So when I was in high school, chances were that when one of the girls mentioned they’d just met the “cutest Sri Lankan boy”, I was somehow related to him (this literally happened three times). So I’ve just always had this natural aversion against dating people with darker skin just in case we happened to be related. I’m not completely nuts, I am fully aware of the fact that not all black/brown people are related to me or even Sri Lankan, yet I just can’t shake having this horrible vision of becoming accidentally pregnant with a two headed spawn of incest. I’m pretty sure I could convince my deeply religious parents that it was a virgin birth, but it’s a whole different story explaining why the baby was probably also my combined fourth cousin and uncle three times removed.

Similarly to most cucks, one of Nathan’s biggest fantasies when we first met, was to see my pussy stretched, fucked and filled by a BBC. His favourite cuckolding story, is about a couple who get married and honeymoon in the Caribbean. The husband is of course infuriatingly impotent, so the poor unfulfilled bride goes for a walk on the beach where she befriends four or five local Barbados men who after a brief chat, all end up gang banging her while the husband is off playing golf. I think at some point the priest that married them turns up and fucks her silly as well, but I digress. When I first confessed to Nathan that the thought of BBC repulses me in the same way thinking about your sibling in a sexual way makes you want to gag, he thought it was a joke and I’d inevitably bring one home. But of course I never did. Sure he was disappointed at first, but when I was able to demonstrate my resourcefulness for locating other cocks that were still just as massive, he got over it pretty quickly.

Lately though, I’ve been toying with the idea in my mind, wondering if I am missing out on something sublimely amazing. I’ve had many big cocks, including the odd few that made me walk a bit like a cowboy afterwards. So what would be so different with having a BBC? A part of me is intrigued and tempted to try something I’ve never had, and then another more cynical part of me wonders if it’s going to be a completely underwhelming and ordinary experience made more exciting by the moments leading up to it. Kinda like the first time you let a guy cum inside you, thinking you’re going to actually feel his cum exploding inside you, but you don’t end up feeling anything and you now also have a sticky mess to clean up that will continue to dribble down your thigh on the walk to the bathroom.

What’s hard to find though, is a female perspective on how great BBC’s are, without mentioning they got off on seeing the contrast between skin colours as they press against each other. Sure they mention how big they are, but who cares there are plenty of other nationalities with big cocks too – I know because I’ve fucked them and was left well and truly sated each time. There’s some mention about these men having almost godly hard bodies cut from marble, but again nothing I haven’t had before plus athleticism isn’t that big a deal to me anyway. I think that’s what’s confusing me as well, because there seems to be an extremely fine line between BBC in cuckolding and BBC in interracial fetishes. I’m seeking an answer related to cuckolding but it seems to always drift back to seeing the different skin tones against each other. Since I broke the stereotype with Nathan and showed him there are plenty of massive cocks around that aren’t necessarily BBC, he doesn’t really care anymore if I bring one home or not. As long as he gets cuckolded, he’s happy. So I suppose it all has to come down to me and if I want to add the BBC notch to my belt and also quash my crazy neuroses about being related to anyone with even remotely tanned skin.

I think I started off this post hoping after a few paragraphs of reflection the answer would magically appear and my subconscious desires would be revealed after a few keystrokes. But I just re-read what I typed and it’s just the ramblings of neurotic mind that no doubt some people may take out of context and accuse me of being racist. I am feeling though that maybe BBC isn’t something I should seek out actively, rather wait for it to fall into my lap (so to speak) and then slowly go from there depending on how comfortable I feel in that moment. Last thing I want is to go to the trouble of arranging a guy to come over, only to dry reach as soon as he tries to kiss me because I can’t get over my idiotic thoughts of him possibly being related to me.

What are your thoughts and theories, my dear reader? Would love to hear from anyone that swears by BBC. Should I just take a Xanax and jump on the first one I see? I’m curious especially from a cuckolding perspective, what the appeal is to seeing your wife/girlfriend with a BBC, besides the interracial aspect.

Patty xx


DommeBloggers Topic Challenge: Changing Your Mind

Have you ever changed your mind about a kink? Thought you liked something and it turned out you didn’t? Thought you didn’t like something and it turned out you did? What do you think made you flip?

As soon as I saw this topic my mind was swimming with ideas. The mind-numbingly obvious kink I tried and fell head over heels with would be cuckolding. And even though this is supposed to be a blog about all the ways I cuckold my partner, I thought I’d write about another kink I tried and did not turn out to be anything like how I imagined.

Failed Kink: Older guys… Much older guys

So this one is a little embarrassing to admit, but in my early 20s I started to fantasise about what it would be like to fuck a man in his 50s/60s. I don’t know why, but I just assumed that all men around that age would have a Maxwell Sheffield like charm to them (yes I spent my teen years watching the Nanny). I thought they would be witty and handsomely rugged, and so much more mature than those silly boys I was dating. They would be REAL men who could satisfy me sexually and mentally, with their worldly knowledge obtained from Jacque Cousteau-esque adventures.

It wasn’t until I met Nathan that I decided it would be the opportune time to experiment in my fantasy while indulging in his. Of course Nathan teased me relentlessly, telling me to use a safeword to signal I was being suffocated by saggy balls. But if anything it was his teasing and immaturity about the whole thing that spurred me on even more to find my sophisticated older gentleman. So I went onto my trusty dating website and unsurprisingly the profile of a then 25 year old girl saying she wanted to bang an old man was inundated with requests.

The first man I chose was a dud. He promised a deliciously thick cock that would stay hard without the need for Viagra. Technically I suppose he was right, but really he should have clarified it would stay hard for about 30 seconds without needing Viagra. He did fill in the remaining 20 or so minutes with a rant about the weather and how he wanted to be a weatherman because it’s the only job where you get paid to be wrong. This experience was not what I expected at all and gave me horrible visions of having to listen to inane ramblings of Nathan after the age of 50… But I am a scientist by trade and a firm believer in using appropriate sample sizes before drawing a conclusion. So I gave it another try.

Guy number 2 was very handsome, very charming, very attractive looking cock… And obsessed with being a sugar daddy. He didn’t want sex, just someone to dote on and shower with gifts. Although the sound of free presents just for looking pretty was tempting, he wanted to spend more than one night together and couldn’t even promise sex. Specifically, he wanted me to come away with him for weeks on end. Seriously? Is there any sane person out there that would go away to an undisclosed location for “several weeks” with a stranger they met on the internet? Guy number 2 was a bust and we didn’t even fuck.

Guy number 3 I suspect, was a lot more older than his profile or picture showed. Every layer of clothing he removed, revealed wrinklier and wrinklier flesh. I wondered if his insurance covered injuries sustained during sex of if that was the reason he moved so slowly. He also wanted to pretend I was a lot more younger than I was. That I was an innocent young virgin he was about to violate. Thankfully the whole ordeal lasted only 10 minutes but made me finally question what the hell I was thinking imagining sex with a man twice my age would be sexy.

The fourth and final guy was ok, gave amazing head but then thought it would be perfectly acceptable to hang outside our apartment for the next couple of weeks, waiting for me after work. Luckily at the time I wasn’t living with Nathan, so I went safely back to my actual house while my poor cuck had to awkwardly pretend to the neighbours he didn’t know who the old guy with flowers was either.

Alright so 4 guys is hardly a big enough sample size, but I couldn’t handle any more. It was a horrible experience, and I’m pretty confident as soon as Nathan turns 50 I’m going to be trading him in for someone younger who doesn’t ramble about nothing or smell like cabbage and tobacco. This kink was officially a massive fail. Sure maybe I just chose the ‘wrong’ guys but if they were the best options out all the messages I received then I’m happy to shelve this fantasy and concentrate on cucking Nathan with guys my own age.

Patty xx

Does It Count If It’s With A Girl?

Every now and then I get this itch that no man can scratch. It’s not often, maybe once a year or every couple of years but I recognise it instantly now – I want need to be with a woman. I wouldn’t say I’m bi-sexual by any means, because basically 99.99% of the time I will take cock over pussy. Seriously, cocks are awesome! They’re big and hard, don’t get UTIs just because you went swimming in over/under-chlorinated water or didn’t eat enough yoghurt, don’t get squelchy wet when you go near them and are generally the one part of a guys body without a 5 o’clock shadow. But it’s that 0.01% of the time I get butterflies when an exceptionally beautiful woman walks past and for some reason all I can think about is burying my face between her legs because… To hell with cock! My theory these days is because I use online dating websites so much to choose my bulls, I max out my creepy dude quota faster than the average person and so all of a sudden, women are starting to look kinda nice…

The first time I cucked Nathan with a woman, I thought it was going to be amazing. From an emasculation perspective, I thought it would be the ultimate way to enforce he’s that less of a man I would rather fuck a woman than him. From a small penis humiliation perspective, I thought it would really drive home that his penis is so small, I’d rather fuck a woman because I receive more pleasure from her clit rubbing against me. From a denial perspective, I thought it would be hot that he’s also denied from servicing her the same way he’d service my bulls because she was all for me.

However what I forgot was Nathan is still a pretty blokey guy (manly/masculine for the non-Australian readers) despite being a cuckold. So when I first raised it with him he was on board, not overly excited but definitely not underwhelmed. I set up the date as usual, with an absolutely stunning brunette in her early 20s who didn’t mind that Nathan would be in the room watching. She arrived at our place, chatted a bit on the couch before we made our way to the bedroom. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and within minutes clothes were flying and we were pressing our naked bodies together trying to grope and feel as much of the other one as we could. I thought it was going so well, I was getting my itch scratched and Nathan was getting the ultimate cuckolding by watching me with a woman. I was fucking a woman instead of him, how humiliating! Then I actually looked over at Nathan, and he was standing up wanking in the corner of the room with the same look on his face public masturbators have. That intense stare, with their lip curled up like they’re internally screaming “oooh yeah, fucking hot right here!” Then it finally dawned on me: He’s getting off on it because it’s girl-on-girl not because it’s cuckolding!

I was so mad at him, but I like to pride myself on a job well done so I made the Brunette cum a few times before sending her out the door and turning my attention to Nathan. “You’re a bad cuckold!” He shrugged and looked at me innocently, not understanding what I was talking about. “You were getting off on it for LESBIAN reasons not because of cuckolding! I saw your pervert face I know what you were thinking!” He shrugged again and said he thought that was the point of it, so I explained all my thoughts about how no in actual fact he should have been feeling pretty damn sexually humiliated. “Nah but it doesn’t count if it’s with a girl. Cocks or nothing, baby!” We argued a bit more and I was feeling pretty disheartened at my failed attempt, so I locked him in chastity for a few days so he couldn’t jerk off at the thought of me with the Brunette.

I’ve hooked up with a few more women since then, but now I use the same strategy as I do with my shyer bulls and keep Nathan on the otherside of the bedroom door to only listen in and not watch. I joke with the girl about how she’s so much better because Nathan’s so small and impotent I’d prefer her soft pussy any day of the week, and listen for the “Ahh omg!” coming through the door. He still believes he’s getting off because of the girl-on-girl aspect, but there’s no denying hearing him cumming at the exact moment I say that line. It’s nice to know that I can enjoy being with a woman, and my little cuck is still kept firmly in his place.

So what do you guys reckon? Can you cuck a cuck with a woman? I think my strategies working so far and if Nathan continues to deny that it is cuckolding, maybe two women with strap-ons spitroasting him would change his mind, but as always I’d love to hear your stories!

Patty xx

When Cuckolds Go Bad: AKA The Time He Broke My Heart

Two posts this week and this one is extra long, because I anticipate flaking out over the next two weeks and not posting anything as work picks up again.

Since I started this blog, I’ve had a number of people men email me about how lucky Nathan and I are for having a cuckold relationship that works. Short of being his wife, everything Nathan did seemed to have come straight from a cuckold fantasy novel (or that ridiculous instructional video):

Step 1: Get girlfriend

Step 2: Ask her to cuckold you and have her agree that it all sounds pretty neat

Step 3: Big cocks will fall from the heavens into all her holes

Step 4: You are now a cuckold, so maybe get a cage and a strap-on or something

Ok so I’m being a tad facetious. But that’s why I’ve decided to write about something that still causes an ache in my heart from time to time. Everyone seems to assume once you’re in a cuckold relationship, you’re completely immune from other relationship dramas that can affect ‘normal/vanilla’ couples. Even I’m guilty of focusing completely on how much more intense and passionate our relationship is compared to any other relationship that I’ve had previously. And of course then there’s the old adage that cuckolding is all about communication, and if you’re communicating all the time then there’s no room for secrets right?

I’ll start from the very beginning. Before Nathan and I went on our first date, we were acquaintances at best. He seemed like a nice guy, our conversations were always interesting and always full of laughter but I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at the time. Reason being, I had a 6+ month trip booked to travel solo across South America. When Nathan asked me out, I figured dinner and drinks wouldn’t be so bad because he knew I had my trip planned so he obviously wasn’t expecting it to go any further. Of course we all know how that ended, I went back to his place, we fucked and then he told me about cuckolding and here we are today.

I was scheduled to leave for South America 10 months after our first date so from the beginning we knew that it wasn’t casual, but we would have to decide whether or not to stay together or take a break and see how we felt about picking up again after I returned. I didn’t feel right about making him wait for me so I suggested we take a break. Well not take a break as such, we’d stay in touch as much as possible but if we met someone that we believed could turn into something more long term, then we’d end our relationship, no hard feelings.

It goes without saying I banged my way around the continent. I emailed Nathan every night, and when I’d wake up in the morning his reply would be sitting there waiting for me. I fell more in love with him every day and when it got to the 3 month mark of my trip, I realised that I didn’t want to be with anyone else besides him.

It was around this time that I ended up becoming closer to a British guy that I met in Chile (and then coincidentally bumped into in three other countries after that) and we decided to travel together from there on. Andy was so beautifully British in everything he did and we got along even better after he discovered I made a great wingman for him. We spent most days traipsing through little villages and then hitting bars at night. One night when we both struck out and were still pretty drunk, we decided to go back to my hotel and lounge around by the pool. I lay on the grass and Andy sat next to me, cross-legged. We were having standard drunken banter, drifting from topic to topic when he suddenly asked, “Hey Patty, do you think I’m attractive?” I giggled and told him I thought he was as cute as a button, reaching up to pinch his cheeks. He slapped my hand away, “No I’m serious. I mean… It’s just we spend all this time together, and you’re always helping me hook up with other girls and I was just wondering why… You didn’t want to… you know… hook up with me…? I know you have a boyfriend and he’s ok with you fucking all these guys, but I feel like we have this brilliant connection and I want to be with you all the time and I care so much about you and yeah… I guess I just want to know why him and not me? ” I lay there in silence, not knowing quite what to say. I was definitely starting to feel something for Andy, but wasn’t sure if it was real or just because he was there when Nathan wasn’t.  Then I said probably the only realistic and kindest thing I could’ve told him to spare both our feelings, “Andy even if I didn’t have a boyfriend back home, we couldn’t do anything about it. You’re not going to uproot your life in England on a whim to be with me, and I’m not going to do the same and leave Australia to be with you. That’s why we get along so well, because we both think that sort of behavior is idiotic.” He lay down next to me and sighed, “I guess you’re right. Must be all the beer talking… Turning me into Hugh Grant or some shit…” I turned around and hugged him and we fell asleep by the pool in each other’s arms. We were woken up the next morning by angry Colombians yelling and shooing us with sticks (turned out it wasn’t my hotel but the one next door, oops). Still groggy and slightly hungover we ran out onto the street, and I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself for not giving into temptation and staying true to Nathan.

Fast forward to the day I returned back home, and I was unbelievably excited to see Nathan. Cuckold or not, I was going to fuck him until his dick fell off. So imagine my surprise to find he wasn’t as excited to see me. I stood in his doorway smiling away like a moron before he awkwardly gave me a hug and invited me in. I pretended not to notice and started gushing about how much I missed him and how I had so many more stories to tell him besides the ones I had already emailed. Nathan said “Cool.” We went out for dinner, I watched him push his food around on the plate for a good 5 minutes before asking what was wrong. “Nothing, it’s just overwhelming seeing you again after being gone so long.” I feigned a smile, but internally my gut was twisting and my brain was going into overdrive trying to figure out what I could have done  wrong, what sign I could have missed that maybe he wasn’t as vested in me as I was in him.

Two months passed and although Nathan was more affectionate than that first night I returned, something still seemed off. So I did something I’m not entirely proud of, and went through his emails. He was in the shower and had left his laptop on and logged into his emails, and I suppose I just felt that if I had some reassurance we were definitely ok, I could leave it be. I skimmed through, mostly from me plus other things he’d subscribed to, and then I saw one from Elly. Nathan had told me they were friends who hooked up one time before he and I got together, but they didn’t speak any more. He hadn’t mentioned at all they were back in contact so I grew exceedingly nervous when I scrolled further down to see there were more from her. I drew in a breath sharply and clicked on one at random that had been sent a month ago. All it said was “Mmm I like the sound of that.” So I scrolled down to read his original email, which detailed all things he wanted to do to Elly including greeting her at the door, holding her hands above her head and fucking her against the wall. I still can’t articulate the level of betrayal I felt in that moment. Was everything we had together just a joke? Why would he think this is ok? Was he only asking me to deny him all this time because he was off fucking Elly? Or was he only pretending to want to be cuckolded because he wanted to justify his cheating on me?

I felt sick to my stomach, grabbed my stuff and ran out of his place. I didn’t want to look at him. I drove to the beach, parked my car and sobbed until it was dark. I checked my phone and there were missed calls from Nathan plus a text: Why were you going through my emails? I cried even more, knowing he didn’t care about what I had read, just that I’d breached his privacy. He called again, this time I took a few calming breaths to collect myself and not seem like I’d been crying for hours but my voice was still shaky.

“Patty, why were you going through my emails?”

“I just thought something was wrong with us because you’ve been so distant since I got back and I just wanted to have some reassurance that it was all in my head but I guess it wasn’t and you’re cheating on me with Elly…”

I started to cry again while he ‘explained’ that I was being silly and overreacting. That nothing was going on between him and Elly and there was a logical explanation. He begged me to come back to his place so he could explain it all and although a part of me wanted to hear that it was all a big, BIG misunderstanding, another wiser part of me couldn’t bear to see him lie to my face and say there was another way to interpret the words: “I can’t wait to feel your cum dripping down my cock as I’m fucking you.” So I hung up and turned my phone off. As I drove away from the beach, I could hear Andy’s voice whispering in my head, “Why him and not me?” and started to tear up again.

I didn’t speak to Nathan for about two months and every day he sent me emails and texts, which I deleted and never read. The one day it was like a switch flipped in my brain and all my sadness turned to rage. How dare he cheat on me and then make me feel like the bad person for not giving him a second chance! In my anger I decided to go see him after work and finally confront him and hear what he had to say, knowing that I wasn’t going to fall apart sobbing at his feet and more likely to slap him across the face and storm out.

I planned it all in my head. I’d knock on the door and yell, “You want to explain yourself so badly, well fine I’m here now so you can explain why you cheated on me!” I imagined he’d then start crying and apologise for being a piece of shit, to which I’d tell him to go fuck himself and I’d leave looking like a total badass from an action movie, just casually walking away from an explosion. But when I knocked on the door and he opened it, I couldn’t get the words out. I just stood there staring at him. He hugged me crying, “Patty, I’m so sorry I’ve missed you so much.” I slowly hugged him back, and realised how much I’d been missing him too.

We sat down together in his living room making small talk about how we’d been, what we’d been up to when he finally brought up the reason I was there. “Patty, I never cheated on you with Elly… I was just confused after you got back from overseas because I wasn’t expecting to be the kind of guy that waits around for over half a year for a girl. So I got back in touch with Elly as a test for myself to make sure I really did want to be with you. And I know how it sounds but it’s true, I never did anything with her I just talked shit with her to see if the temptation was there and it wasn’t. The whole time I kept thinking about how I’d much prefer to be with you.” I sat there silently, digesting what he was saying. It seemed too perfect an explanation and I began to wonder if it was something he crafted in the months that we were estranged. At the same time I couldn’t help feel a twinge of empathy, afterall wasn’t Andy my test for temptation?

Almost as if he read my mind, Nathan said, “I know you at least told me about you and Andy, so I’m sorry that I hid what I was doing with Elly from you. And I’m sorry I reacted badly I honestly didn’t see what I did as a bad thing but I do now in retrospect. I never cheated on you, I’ve been cheated on and I wouldn’t want you to go through what I did.” We talked for the rest of the night, trying to make sense of our feelings and how to move forward. As further proof he offered to show me the rest of the emails from Elly, all written in future tense, nothing actually saying anything along the lines of “I enjoyed what we did” and then a final email where he cut things off and she wrote back an angry email for leading her on. We decided to take things slow, as if we were starting again from scratch and we were strangers, which was half true because I still felt like I couldn’t trust him and I knew it would take a long time before I could again.

Nathan was lucky I could sympathise with his idea of wanting to test his mettle because I had done the same. The only difference being, Andy suddenly appeared in my life but I would never have gone out of my way to tempt fate the way Nathan did. If I had never met another person to test the truth of my feelings towards Nathan, everything would have unfolded completely differently and I don’t think I would have believed or forgiven him. Plus we’d spent so much of our relationship initially focusing on rules for cuckolding we never really put in the same amount of effort to discuss ordinary relationship boundaries – ie. Dirty talking with ex-flings = bad. I suppose that’s the other side to cuckolding, the cheating aspect can become a bit skewed for cucks who get off on the idea of seeing their partner being fucked by another guy. So over time, that becomes their only definition of ‘cheating’ and like in our case where we hadn’t established normal relationship boundaries, Nathan didn’t think his emails to Elly would worry me at all. He wasn’t literally fucking her (as I now believe, 2 years later) so he thought it was ok. We have learnt a lot from that experience and I feel we have come a long way in terms of always talking about our issues and any niggly thoughts in the back of our minds. Not to say we don’t have little fights every now and then, usually over something mundane like who was supposed to cook dinner vs do the dishes. But we’re in a better place.

Patty xx

My First Swinger’s Party

This guy Mike I’ve been chatting to online for a while (no real bull potential but he’s interesting to talk to) has been inviting me to some swingers and gang bang events he’s hosted over the past 6 months. About 75% of the time I did genuinely have other plans, the other 25% of the time I was a bit eh about the idea of going. It’s one of those things that in theory I thought sounded extremely hot – a smorgasbord of men lining up to fuck me one after the other or all at the same time, while my sweet little cuck sits in the corner tugging away. But the more time I have to think about it, the more I wonder how these guys are screened, do they even have big cocks? Is it going to be hygienic? Do they like attending gang bangs because they secretly don’t last very long at all and know that in a tag team scenario no one would ever know? Or even worse – will it end up being a scary drunken rape-fest and the police will say I was asking for it because I’m the slutty girlfriend of a cuckold. Ok so maybe the last one is overkill, but you get the idea of how my brain works.

I started a new job a couple weeks ago, with exceedingly long hours and as weekends roll around I’ve been finding myself more and more wanting to play as hard as I’ve worked all week. I just want to take a load (heh heh…) off and relax. So last weekend when I received yet another invite to Mike’s swingers party, I thought what the hell let’s give it a go! I figured Nathan and I could attend in an ‘observational’ capacity to suss it out, and then depending on whether or not we liked what we saw, we’d either participate or thank our host and politely walk out.

The night of, I wore some crotchless fishnets with a short black lacey skirt and a tight white singlet top. Just because I wasn’t intending to hook up, didn’t mean I couldn’t dress like I was going to! Mike was hosting at his house and promised a fun night regardless of our participation. He invited 15 couples, about 10 of which were regulars, and assured that everyone was genuinely lovely and as long as we were open and advised whether or not we would participate, they would be respectful and leave us be. I was still doubtful, but having Nathan with me did admittedly make me feel braver about the whole thing.

When we got to Mike’s house, he greeted us warmly kissing both on the cheek and thanking us for coming. I have to stop here to describe Mike’s house because it literally seemed like the Playboy Mansion, but if it was smaller and located in the middle of the suburbs. There were 4 bedrooms that were beautifully presented and each had a big bowl full of condoms, sachets of lube and massage oils set up, along with an assortment of dildos and buttplugs. All the beds were 4 poster with sheer red curtains and satin sheets. There was a sauna, a 10 person spa, and a swimming pool complete with mini-cascading waterfall. It was a total porno sex pad. Plus it was a far cry from the dingy room with stained mattress I was imagining.

We went around introducing ourselves to everyone, some were seasoned swingers and a few were newbies like us just trialing it out. I struck up a conversation with a man in his late 30s called James, who was there with his wife (who was receiving head from another man in the kitchen while others watched). I explained my relationship with Nathan, and that I was just at the party to see how it all worked at first. James was utterly charming, sharing hilarious stories of all the seedy parties they’d attended previously before scoring an invite to Mike’s. It was starting to rain outside so we decided to carry on the conversation inside, moving into the loungeroom. Mike came in as well to make sure Nathan and I were doing well, and the four of us got to chatting and laughing, before James finally asked, “So Patty, I’m not sure if this is out of line but could I go down on you? No reciprocation needed, I just really want to taste you.” I was feeling pretty comfortable at this stage, so I agreed. Plus who could pass up free head? I remained sitting on the couch and spread my legs wide for James. He started by lightly kissing me from my ankle, up my calf, along my inner thigh and then just gently on the lips of my pussy. He was teasing me and when I couldn’t resist anymore I pushed his head down into me. I looked across and could see both Mike and Nathan sitting next to each other, jerking off.

I let my head fall back and enjoyed James’ tongue feeling its way inside me, changing speeds and intensity to bring me to the edge and then back again. Another woman walked into the room and sat down between Mike and Nathan. It felt strange being put on display and watched, but she soon turned her attention to Mike, rubbing his cock while kissing him hard on the mouth. I could see Nathan watching them slowly out of the corner of his eye, still pulling away on his little penis. She then stopped, and turned to face Nathan, “Aww you should get some loving too.” She purred. As she reached for Nathan, Mike suddenly spoke up, “No wait I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to fuck anyone, isn’t that right Patty? You told me he was your cuckold or something?” I nodded from my blissful haze, “That’s right he doesn’t have the privilege to fuck anyone.” The woman shrugged, “That’s weird…” and mounted Mike, slowly grinding into him before quickening her pace. Being surrounded by other people having sex and then openly humiliated was enough to tip Nathan over the edge, making him cum into his open hand. He went bright red and excused himself to the bathroom.

I was so close to cumming but I wanted Nathan to be there when it happened. He was taking forever in the bathroom and I couldn’t hold off any longer, so I came all over James’ face. As I finished, Nathan walked in and was greeted by James’ face, shiny with my cum. I adjusted my skirt and went over to my little cuck, “You should thank James.” I whispered. He bit his lip and nodded, glancing over again at Mike and the woman to see them still fucking but also watching with curiosity. “Um, James, I just wanted to thank you for giving Patty such good head. I know I couldn’t make her cum as much as you made her.” He said sheepishly. I kissed my little cuck on the cheek.  James was clearly bemused by it all, and boldly offered to give me his number in case next time I feel like a proper fucking instead.

Mike was still being ridden by the mystery woman, and another two couples plus James’ wife entered the lounge room completely naked, so we took that as our cue to leave. It was one thing to get eaten out in front of two people but I wasn’t entirely ready to get fucked in front of a room full of strangers, by a room full of strangers (yeah I know, call me conservative). I said goodbye to Mike and gave him a kiss, and then the woman he was fucking, stole a kiss as well.

So even though I didn’t do much swinging per se, my first swinger’s party definitely felt like a success and something I can tick off my sexual bucket list. I also loved the idea of being in a room where everyone was having sex except Nathan, who could only watch on forlornly. It has inspired me to maybe host my own event one day with a few trustworthy bulls, fucking me one after the other while Nathan watches on, wondering when he’ll be allowed to touch himself…

Have you ever been to a swinger’s party? What was your experience like? Love to hear your stories as always!

Patty xx

Being a Submissive Domme

A couple of weeks ago I went on a bit of a rant about how I tend to feel lonely because I can’t talk to anyone about cuckolding (yes I know boohoo, poor girl gets big cock every weekend and still complains) but the lovely Domme Luck reached out and invited me to join the Domme Bloggers group on Reddit. Every month they choose a topic to write about, just as a means of sparking conversation between like-minded people. This month’s challenge was regarding powerful female idols/archetypes that resonate with us as a domme. As soon as I read the topic I drew a blank, not because I couldn’t think of any strong women (seriously it’s 2015) but because I don’t necessarily identify as a domme.

I know it’s strange to think that I get so much pleasure emasculating Nathan and reinforcing the idea that not only is he MY cuckold but he will always be second to my bulls, that I wouldn’t in the slightest way feel dominant. I know my actions are sexually dominant, and on the spectrum of cuckolding I’m very much in the domme camp, however saying the word out loud as an adjective for myself, just feels incredibly uncomfortable and fake.

I thought initially it was because the dominant role I play with Nathan is more of a means to an end. I do it so that we both get off, and don’t get me wrong I do enjoy it – particularly the orgasm denial. But if I didn’t have to be dominant towards him, it wouldn’t really remove any of the pleasurable aspects for me. I might get an itch for it every now and then, but it’s not like I’ll never cum again. Plus when re-entering the non-sexy world we have a completely equal dynamic with no one more in control than the other. Cuckolding is a lifestyle for us, but not D/s, maybe that’s the difference?

My other theory is that if I was to choose between being submissive or dominant during sex, I would choose submissive over and over again… One of the benefits of cuckolding for me, is that because Nathan is also sexually submissive, by being with a dominant or alpha bull, we simultaneously get that fix we’re craving. I love nothing more than being bound, gagged and/or blindfolded and letting a bull have his way with me. I will also make the very controversial admission that I really, REALLY like force play. Again, if I was going to use labels I still wouldn’t even feel comfortable saying I was a submissive. I enjoy being sexually submissive but I do not belong to anyone nor will I supplicate. Nathan still remembers (and likes to tease me) about the time a bull screamed his head off at me for trying to kiss him without permission and not calling him master, to which I politely advised he “get fucked” and showed him the door.

If we were to venture outside of the D/s labels, I’ve also read previously someone stating that all women with cuckold partners are simply exhibitionists since they like to have sex with someone else in front of their partner. Truth be told, if I’m getting a really good fucking I wouldn’t even notice if Nathan was there or not. So I wouldn’t classify myself as an exhibitionist either.

So what am I? I’m not really sure I even care to be labeled. I know what I definitely like and don’t like when it comes to sex, and I think that should be good enough. It’s so easy to get hung up on labels in cuckolding, especially when there’s a plethora of labels to determine what niche of an already narrow spectrum you fit into. Sure it helps you find who/what you’re after but if I constantly limited myself to only submissive sexual encounters I might never have properly explored my dominant side with Nathan. It blows my mind to think such a world could exist where Nathan isn’t denied his orgasms… Perish the thought!

Tell me how you identify yourself sexually! Or are you having a slightly neurotic identity crisis like myself? As always, I love to hear your thoughts and theories. And because I am no expert, I suggest checking out for the fiction and musings of an unrepentant submissive slut.

Patty xx

Sunday Session: Sam

Early Sunday Session post for you all because I’m away this weekend and won’t have a chance to put one up. Hope you enjoy x

Every now and then I indulge myself in a bull that may not actually have any interest in being a bull, ie. They could care less if I tell Nathan or not about what we do. They just want to fuck without him there, end of story. Sam contacted me online wanting to hook up and even had a specific fantasy: I’d come to his shop near closing time, we’d fool around a bit when customers weren’t looking and then he’d have his way with me out the back. I wasn’t that interested until he mentioned that he worked for a sex shop, and when he said he wanted to take me out back, he meant into the adjoining porno cinema. To top it off he had a fetish for pantyhose and promised the fucking of a lifetime if I arrived wearing them.

I told Nathan I was going to meet with Sam, teasing him that maybe we’d end up in the porno cinema before closing time and I’d end up being gang banged by all the customers while he was sitting at home completely unawares. Or maybe he’d be on his laptop, jerking off to some cuckold porn when he’d come across a live stream of me in the cinema… Nathan begged me to let him watch me with Sam, but I knew Sam wouldn’t be into it so I devised a plan. We’d both drive down together, I’d go into the shop first and shortly after Nathan would enter, pretending to be a customer just browsing but secretly watching me flirting with Sam. Then as the shop closed, little cuck would wait for me in the car. All of this was on the condition that he’d wear his cage so that he wouldn’t arouse suspicion by walking around with a little erection in his pants (although I’m sure he wouldn’t be the first person walking around a sex shop with a boner).

Sam’s next shift was a Friday night and as planned, little cuck and I drove to the shop together. I was wearing my stockings as promised, along with a short black dress that rode up to expose the lacey tops on my stockings as I walked around. When I arrived, Sam was chatting with a customer at the register so I gave him a quick wave and smile and pretended to look at some massage oils. As soon as the customer left, Sam raced over gave me a hug and kiss on the lips, “I’m so glad you came, you look so hot in those stockings.” He whispered, then bent down and felt my legs from ankle to thigh. He kissed me again, keeping an eye on the door and a hand up my skirt squeezing my ass. Right on cue, Nathan walked in and Sam stopped immediately, launching into a detailed explanation about the ingredients in the massage oils we were standing in front of. I frowned at my cuck, and he quickly walked off to the far corner of the store, browsing through the DVDs and keeping his head down.

Sam gestured for me to follow him to a different aisle where he kissed me again, this time while fingering me. I turned around so that he would be facing the wall and wouldn’t see Nathan watching us. He bobbed down and stuck his head under my dress, pushing my panties to the side and gave me a quick licking. His hands running up and down my legs simultaneously. Sam was right, wearing stockings made him completely ravenous and animalistic and I was getting off on how taboo and naughty it felt knowing we might get caught by a customer walking through the door at any minute. Kinda like being in high school and fooling around while listening to hear if your parents have come home. I looked up and could see Nathan staring at us, biting his lip and white knuckling the DVD he was holding.

The door chime went off as a customer walked through, and just as before Sam went automatically into customer service mode, maintaining the utmost professional demeanour even with his chin and lips very noticeably shiny with my pussy juices. Within the hour a couple more customers wandered in and out of the shop, Sam was getting more forward and riskier with touching me and sneaking a kiss here and there. Truthfully I was dripping wet from a combination of the excitement, the fact that it was the most drawn out foreplay I’ve ever experienced and knowing that Nathan was still standing in his little corner watching every time Sam slipped his tongue or fingers inside me, like a dirty little voyeur.

Five minutes until close, and Sam asked Nathan who was now the last person in the store, to leave. I winked at him as he gave me a shy smile before walking out the door. Sam quickly closed off the register, pausing occasionally to feel my legs. When he finished, he led me to the rear of the store and into the porno cinema. Eh it wasn’t what I imagined and there were a few too many scrunched up tissues on the ground for my liking, but I settled in one of the couches as Sam knelt in front of me and let his tongue go to work while I watched a woman get spit-roasted by two guys on screen. I was close to cumming so I pulled Sam’s head up and asked him to fuck me. I turned around in the seat so that I was facing backwards with my ass sticking out. Again Sam ran his hands up and down my legs a few times before sinking his cock into me. My moans were echoed by the woman on screen as he started to quicken his pace. I clenched the back of the sofa as I started to cum. Sam quickly reached around to finger me to the finish as he pulled out and came all over my stockinged legs. It really was like high school, over as soon as it began but we both came, and the hour long tease beforehand had left us well and truly spent.

I was pondering keeping my stockings on for little cuck to lick clean or removing them because they were sticky with cum and it wasn’t the nicest feeling through the nylon. But Sam had already decided he wanted to lick his cum off my legs, finishing up with his mouth on my pussy. As I sank back into my seat enjoying the sensation of his tongue thrusting in and out of me and hands perpetually running up and down my legs. I looked at my phone to check the time and was surprised to see over an hour had passed since the store closed. Guess it wasn’t a high school style quickie after all. After I came for the second time I told Sam it was getting late and I had to leave. He thanked me for helping fulfill his fantasy and offered to walk me back to my car, which I politely declined for obvious reasons.

When I got back to my car, my little cuck was still patiently waiting for me  – although I could see he had made a bit of a mess in his pants. No doubt after he left the shop his imagination had taken over of what was happening in the cinema. I let him out of his cage, and licked the dribble of cum off his little penis. I started the car and gave him permission to jerk off as I told him all about my escapades with Sam on the drive home.

Patty xx