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DommeBloggers Topic Challenge: Changing Your Mind

Have you ever changed your mind about a kink? Thought you liked something and it turned out you didn’t? Thought you didn’t like something and it turned out you did? What do you think made you flip?

As soon as I saw this topic my mind was swimming with ideas. The mind-numbingly obvious kink I tried and fell head over heels with would be cuckolding. And even though this is supposed to be a blog about all the ways I cuckold my partner, I thought I’d write about another kink I tried and did not turn out to be anything like how I imagined.

Failed Kink: Older guys… Much older guys

So this one is a little embarrassing to admit, but in my early 20s I started to fantasise about what it would be like to fuck a man in his 50s/60s. I don’t know why, but I just assumed that all men around that age would have a Maxwell Sheffield like charm to them (yes I spent my teen years watching the Nanny). I thought they would be witty and handsomely rugged, and so much more mature than those silly boys I was dating. They would be REAL men who could satisfy me sexually and mentally, with their worldly knowledge obtained from Jacque Cousteau-esque adventures.

It wasn’t until I met Nathan that I decided it would be the opportune time to experiment in my fantasy while indulging in his. Of course Nathan teased me relentlessly, telling me to use a safeword to signal I was being suffocated by saggy balls. But if anything it was his teasing and immaturity about the whole thing that spurred me on even more to find my sophisticated older gentleman. So I went onto my trusty dating website and unsurprisingly the profile of a then 25 year old girl saying she wanted to bang an old man was inundated with requests.

The first man I chose was a dud. He promised a deliciously thick cock that would stay hard without the need for Viagra. Technically I suppose he was right, but really he should have clarified it would stay hard for about 30 seconds without needing Viagra. He did fill in the remaining 20 or so minutes with a rant about the weather and how he wanted to be a weatherman because it’s the only job where you get paid to be wrong. This experience was not what I expected at all and gave me horrible visions of having to listen to inane ramblings of Nathan after the age of 50… But I am a scientist by trade and a firm believer in using appropriate sample sizes before drawing a conclusion. So I gave it another try.

Guy number 2 was very handsome, very charming, very attractive looking cock… And obsessed with being a sugar daddy. He didn’t want sex, just someone to dote on and shower with gifts. Although the sound of free presents just for looking pretty was tempting, he wanted to spend more than one night together and couldn’t even promise sex. Specifically, he wanted me to come away with him for weeks on end. Seriously? Is there any sane person out there that would go away to an undisclosed location for “several weeks” with a stranger they met on the internet? Guy number 2 was a bust and we didn’t even fuck.

Guy number 3 I suspect, was a lot more older than his profile or picture showed. Every layer of clothing he removed, revealed wrinklier and wrinklier flesh. I wondered if his insurance covered injuries sustained during sex of if that was the reason he moved so slowly. He also wanted to pretend I was a lot more younger than I was. That I was an innocent young virgin he was about to violate. Thankfully the whole ordeal lasted only 10 minutes but made me finally question what the hell I was thinking imagining sex with a man twice my age would be sexy.

The fourth and final guy was ok, gave amazing head but then thought it would be perfectly acceptable to hang outside our apartment for the next couple of weeks, waiting for me after work. Luckily at the time I wasn’t living with Nathan, so I went safely back to my actual house while my poor cuck had to awkwardly pretend to the neighbours he didn’t know who the old guy with flowers was either.

Alright so 4 guys is hardly a big enough sample size, but I couldn’t handle any more. It was a horrible experience, and I’m pretty confident as soon as Nathan turns 50 I’m going to be trading him in for someone younger who doesn’t ramble about nothing or smell like cabbage and tobacco. This kink was officially a massive fail. Sure maybe I just chose the ‘wrong’ guys but if they were the best options out all the messages I received then I’m happy to shelve this fantasy and concentrate on cucking Nathan with guys my own age.

Patty xx

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Being a Submissive Domme

A couple of weeks ago I went on a bit of a rant about how I tend to feel lonely because I can’t talk to anyone about cuckolding (yes I know boohoo, poor girl gets big cock every weekend and still complains) but the lovely Domme Luck reached out and invited me to join the Domme Bloggers group on Reddit. Every month they choose a topic to write about, just as a means of sparking conversation between like-minded people. This month’s challenge was regarding powerful female idols/archetypes that resonate with us as a domme. As soon as I read the topic I drew a blank, not because I couldn’t think of any strong women (seriously it’s 2015) but because I don’t necessarily identify as a domme.

I know it’s strange to think that I get so much pleasure emasculating Nathan and reinforcing the idea that not only is he MY cuckold but he will always be second to my bulls, that I wouldn’t in the slightest way feel dominant. I know my actions are sexually dominant, and on the spectrum of cuckolding I’m very much in the domme camp, however saying the word out loud as an adjective for myself, just feels incredibly uncomfortable and fake.

I thought initially it was because the dominant role I play with Nathan is more of a means to an end. I do it so that we both get off, and don’t get me wrong I do enjoy it – particularly the orgasm denial. But if I didn’t have to be dominant towards him, it wouldn’t really remove any of the pleasurable aspects for me. I might get an itch for it every now and then, but it’s not like I’ll never cum again. Plus when re-entering the non-sexy world we have a completely equal dynamic with no one more in control than the other. Cuckolding is a lifestyle for us, but not D/s, maybe that’s the difference?

My other theory is that if I was to choose between being submissive or dominant during sex, I would choose submissive over and over again… One of the benefits of cuckolding for me, is that because Nathan is also sexually submissive, by being with a dominant or alpha bull, we simultaneously get that fix we’re craving. I love nothing more than being bound, gagged and/or blindfolded and letting a bull have his way with me. I will also make the very controversial admission that I really, REALLY like force play. Again, if I was going to use labels I still wouldn’t even feel comfortable saying I was a submissive. I enjoy being sexually submissive but I do not belong to anyone nor will I supplicate. Nathan still remembers (and likes to tease me) about the time a bull screamed his head off at me for trying to kiss him without permission and not calling him master, to which I politely advised he “get fucked” and showed him the door.

If we were to venture outside of the D/s labels, I’ve also read previously someone stating that all women with cuckold partners are simply exhibitionists since they like to have sex with someone else in front of their partner. Truth be told, if I’m getting a really good fucking I wouldn’t even notice if Nathan was there or not. So I wouldn’t classify myself as an exhibitionist either.

So what am I? I’m not really sure I even care to be labeled. I know what I definitely like and don’t like when it comes to sex, and I think that should be good enough. It’s so easy to get hung up on labels in cuckolding, especially when there’s a plethora of labels to determine what niche of an already narrow spectrum you fit into. Sure it helps you find who/what you’re after but if I constantly limited myself to only submissive sexual encounters I might never have properly explored my dominant side with Nathan. It blows my mind to think such a world could exist where Nathan isn’t denied his orgasms… Perish the thought!

Tell me how you identify yourself sexually! Or are you having a slightly neurotic identity crisis like myself? As always, I love to hear your thoughts and theories. And because I am no expert, I suggest checking out https://polthus.wordpress.com/ for the fiction and musings of an unrepentant submissive slut.

Patty xx